What To Do If a Friend is Sexually Assaulted

Remember - After a sexual assault, the person needs to:

• Feel safe.
  
  
• Be believed.
  
  
• Know she or he was not at fault.
  
  
• Take control of his or her life.
  
  
• Obtain medical assistance.
  
  

Things you can do to help:

• Listen-don't judge. Try simply to understand the survivor's feelings.
  
  
• Offer shelter. If possible, stay with the person at a comfortable, reassuring place.
  
  
• Be present and give comfort. The survivor may need to talk a lot or at odd hours in the beginning. Be there as much as you can and encourage the survivor to talk to others.
  
  
• Encourage the person to seek professional help.
  
  
• Be patient. Don't try to rush the healing process or "make it better."
  
  
• Recognize that nothing you can do will erase the fact that they were sexually assaulted.
  
  
• Accept the person's choice of what to do about the rape - don't be overly protective. Ask what is needed, help the survivor list some options, then encourage independent decision-making, even if you disagree. It is very important that the survivor make decisions and have them respected.
  
  
• Temporarily put aside your feelings and then get support for yourself. It may be too overwhelming to deal with your angry feelings on top of the victim's. If you have strong angry feelings or feelings of blame toward the survivor, talk to a friend or call a hotline.

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