Self confidence (like happiness) is one of those elusive qualities that is difficult to attain by directly seeking it. It tends to be the result of living a productive and meaningful life. Although there is no magic pill to obtain self confidence, here are some suggestions for building it.
- Seek people in your life who have self confidence, and observe their behaviors, attitudes and approach to life.
- Find supportive people in your life and whenever possible, minimize contact with those who are overly critical towards you.
- Minimize any tendency to compare yourself to others. Although self comparison is a very common past time, it is not very productive because each individual has unique strengths, weaknesses and purpose in life.
- Take risks, and try new challenges. Even if you fail, you will often feel better about yourself for trying.
- Accept failure as a normal part of life. Remember that successful people become that way because they have a high tolerance for failure. It usually takes a good deal of failure to become a success.
- Smile once in a while, and act as if you have self confidence. You may be surprised at how your attitudes will change.
- Practice being assertive. Remember that your rights are just as important as other people's rights. Find a supportive person with whom you can practice being assertive.
- Learn to laugh at yourself. Most mistakes and worries are really not all that important in the long run.
- Focus on others. When we worry about how we appear to others, we are really just focused on ourselves. When we focus on others, we forget about our own struggles at least temporarily.
- Affirm that perfection is not really all that interesting. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone and everything were perfect. We would all be the same, and we would all be bored out of our minds.
Remember, you are special just as you are!
Counseling Services can be reached at (815) 836-5455 during hours of operation.